Starting Over

I sit here quickly losing faith in myself. I almost forgot how hard it was to start over again. It’s been well over a year since my fingers have touched a keyboard. The excitement that has been beaming from me as I anxiously wait on my keyboard has managed to escape me the minute I gently traced the keys with my fingertips. Replaced with doubt I can only sit here and write about my insecurities. Where do I start? What if I fail? All I know is I surely will not succeed if I do not try. Even this, though truly it is not much it is still a huge first step of this journey. I almost forgot how much I loved writing. How words could help transport me to a magical place, and escape of this craziness of every day life and throw my wildly into my to mystical fantasies. I feel at home in front of a keyboard and with every key I press I become more and more comfortable, melting into my words and remembering exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life.Life has taken me to wild places and maybe one day I will be willing to speak the truths of my past without being ashamed, but, in all honesty, it is not the past that matters but the future. People grow, they change and adapt to their surroundings. They learn from their mistakes and their absolutes change with time and experience. Who you once were may not be who you are now. Who you are now is not who you have to be.Change is not some foreign concept, it’s not some intangible, hazy ideal that you cannot accomplish. I’ve heard way to often “people don’t change”. How horrendously untrue that sentiment is. People who truly don’t want to change do not change. Change takes effort and hard work. It is more than just a want or thought it is an action. It is thrusting yourself into an eather of vulnerability. It is what we fear the most, opening yourself up to failure and rejection. People won’t change because it is scary, not because they can’t.Those who are brave enough to break though their complacency and strive for more will find something beautiful. They find a whole world in which they would have never found. New colors and ideas. New people and perspectives. They learn more about the world and themselves in the process. Even through failure they have gained and they have grown. What we are capable of is unknown until you try and keep trying because the truth is you are capable of whatever you set your mind to.So, here I am. After giving up, trying again to achieve what I want most in the world. It is scary and I am vulnerable but I intend to be who I know I can be. It does not matter how many times you fail. As long as you don’t give up. You are worth your dreams. You are worth the effort it takes to achieve your dreams. Take a chance, if you have the opportunity to jump, jump. Nothing great ever came from a place of contentment. Strive for greatness, you are the only person responsible for your life, why not live it to the fullest?

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